


never imagined we'd end like this

by daisieflowers



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Crying, Episode Compliment, Episode: s06e08 The Presidential Suite, Multi, Post-Break Up, Season 6 Coda, Supportive Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28558038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisieflowers/pseuds/daisieflowers
Summary: Alexis feels like she is completely numb, like her whole body is completely submerged underwater and she doesn’t know how to reach the surface.
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, Patrick Brewer & Alexis Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Theodore "Ted" Mullens/Alexis Rose
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	never imagined we'd end like this

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Last Kiss by Taylor Swift

Alexis feels like she is completely numb, like her whole body is completely submerged underwater and she doesn’t know how to reach the surface. She has never felt this way before, it has never felt this raw, like she has no idea what she is doing. She still hasn't shed a tear, almost feels like her body won't allow it. She isn’t quite sure how she got back to the motel, she can't even remember leaving the cafe after they shared one last kiss goodbye at the door, but somehow, she had made it back home.

She runs into Stevie who has just parked up and is heading into the office; the sarcastic brunette makes a comment about her dress and how she had left David grovelling at Patrick’s, the sentences barely register in Alexis' mind as she feels almost detached from her body. She doesn’t know if she actually answers Stevie or not, instead the next thing she knows is that she is back in room 7.

She flicks on the lights and walks further into the room; her things are haphazardly thrown around from when she was getting ready earlier. Odd shoes laid about, several dresses strewn across her bed from when she was trying to decide what she should wear earlier. Makeup and jewellery laid on the dressing table where she had left it.

It’s all very quiet, almost too quiet for what she is used to. David’s side of the room lays untouched, his bed neatly made like always and there are no sign of him around; there are no high-tops neatly sat at the end of his bed, his four gold rings are not sat delicately on the side table where he puts them every night before bed, it takes her a moment to remember Stevie's words, about how she had left David at Patrick's. And of course she had, her brother has someone now, he has a partner, and since the engagement, David now spent more nights at Patrick's apartment than he did at the motel.

The doorway between her room and her parents room is open slightly, like someone had forgot to shut it all the way and she feels her feet guide her along. It’s empty, just like her own. She had suspected as much since there was no light shining through and she had been unable to hear the distinctive sound of her parents voices, and the walls were thin enough that the sound always travelled. She can’t remember if her parents had said they were busy tonight, she was probably too excited over the fact Ted was home to listen, but it doesn’t look like they have been home all night. She feels like something is tightening inside her aa she looks around the small space that feels infinitely larger without her family around. Just four hours ago she would have been ecstatic at the thought of having this place to herself all night, now she feels like sobbing, unsure of what to do next as she stands alone in the middle of the motel room she calls home.

Her feet seem to work themselves, her mind is just hazy and it can’t seem to keep up. She will never know why she decided to leave the safety and sanctuary of the motel, why she would venture out without the car, her phone or her wallet. She just let’s her feet guide her, take her where they want to go. It’s dark and cold now that night time is settled in; she isn’t sure exactly what time it is, just that the sky is black and the stars are shining bright and taunting.

It’s starts to rain when she's been walking in one direction for around fifteen minutes and for a brief second, she lets herself think about how it is honestly just the icing on the cake and that of course she has left the motel without a coat; but then it is back to haziness and fog as she continues to let her feet carry her forward rather than turning back. She follows a familiar path without registering anything and before she knows it she is stood in front of Patrick’s door, dripping wet and shivering to her bones as she raises her hand to knock on the door.

“Honestly David, how many times have I told you to remember your key, that is the reason I give you a damn copy in the first place.” She hears Patrick yell from the other side of the door, a little agitation to his voice, before there is the distinct sound of a lock clicking into place and the door swings open to reveal her sweet button faced, soon to be brother in law. If she wasn’t in such a daze then she might have felt mortified about her current state, or she might have made a comment about the orange twinge to his skin that she is fairly sure was not there when she last saw him. Instead she just stands there, unsure of what to say, she hadn’t even known this was the direction she was taking until the familiar apartment block came into view.

“Alexis, what the…” Patrick stutters, clearly not expecting to find Alexis knocking on his door and definitely not expecting to see her in this state.

“Jeez, get in here, you must be freezing Alexis, were you out walking in this weather?” He asks, his sentences flowing together like he's trying to string his thoughts into one. Alexis just nods her head, she feels unsure about what she should say to Patrick and she doesn't really know if she can trust her voice. She feels very much on the verge of tears, tears that have not fallen since she entered the cafe all them hours before, knowing exactly what would be happening by the end of the night. She wonders if Patrick registers this because the next thing she knows is that Patrick is placing his arm around her shoulder, guiding her into his apartment. She hears the door close behind her more than registers it, let's him lead her over to the small sofa in front of his fireplace that is currently roaring.

“Alexis is everything okay? Are you hurt? Has something happened?” Patrick asks, sitting her down before sitting down beside her, continuing with his worried ramblings. He keeps his arm around her shoulder and before Alexis can answer him, a tear finally falls and then she can’t seem to get them to stop. She hadn’t yet shed a tear all night; but now that the first tear has fallen it is like a damn has broken and within seconds she is sobbing, her head coming down to rest on Patrick’s shoulder as he holds her close, whispering soothing words into her hair.

She can’t seem to stop, letting out large, hearty sobs that rack her body as the day’s events come crashing down on her in full force. She had felt so happy, so relieved when she opened the door that morning to find Ted on the other side. She had no knowledge of what was to come, she thought she would be getting an unexpected weekend with her boyfriend, instead she was now exiting the day in a state like no other, with her heart literally broken into pieces.

Eventually she manages to calm down, or calm down enough to finally, really register where she is. Register that she is currently sat on Patrick’s sofa, sobbing into his shoulder after turning up in his doorway freezing cold and dripping wet. She can’t even begin to imagine the state she must be in, how she must look right now and she wants to feel embarrassed, mortified at her actions. She has always prided herself on been so calm, so collected; she always managed to put on a mask no matter what the situation was. She rarely cried, even during all those crazy adventures and mishaps she got in before her life in Schitt's Creek, yet here she was, an inconsolable mess in the arms of her brothers fiancé. She thinks she had been looking for David, that her wish to be in the company of her older brother had been what had guided her to Patrick's place.

She doesn't really have any recognition of time, but she finally manages to stop sobbing and uses what little energy she has left to pull herself away from Patrick and sit herself upright. She's not sure when it happened, but at some point a blanket has been wrapped around her shoulders. She can see a large wet patch and makeup streaks covering the shoulder of Patrick’s white t-shirt and she wants to sob all over again at that very sight, worried and embarrassed about everything that has happened since she showed up at his door, she moves a hand up to swipe at her eyes, try to rid any extra tears still flowing as she looks down at her lap, worrying her hands together as they continue to shake. Patricks arms remains a strong presence on her shoulder but his other hand comes down to place it over her own shaking ones, helping to stop them from shaking as he also places a tissue in them.

“Alexis, please can you just tell me what’s wrong? Has something happened? Are you hurt or is someone else hurt? I’m getting concerned and I just need a little piece of mind that you are not physically hurt, that I don’t need to call you an ambulance or something” Patrick says after a minute, breaking through the silence, his voice soft and calming in the apartment; making her feel safe and secure, and she knows that he doesn't care that she looks a mess, that she has potentially ruined a perfectly good t-shirt. He just cares about making sure she is not in any physical pain or harm. Alexis shutters a breath before she finally opens her mouth.

“Me and Ted are over.” She whispers, it’s the first time she has said it out loud and another sob escapes as it feels like her heart breaks all over again. It is starting to feel real now. Patrick doesn’t say anything more, just pulls her back into his side as the tears start all over again. She isn’t sure how long they sit there, her crying into Patrick’s shoulder once again and him comforting her with whispering nothings but eventually she manages to calm herself down once more, uses her energy to once again sit up and move off Patrick's shoulder.

Patrick stands up once he feels Alexis is calm enough, Alexis starts to wipe at her eyes, Patrick hands her a new tissue before heading into the bedroom section of his apartment, returning thirty seconds later with an oversized sweater which he hands over to her so she can slip it over her head. She recognises it as her brothers rather than one of Patrick’s and if she had any feeling left in her she might be worried about how David would react to the idea of her wearing his clothes while she is such a mess, but instead she just pulls it over her head, relishing in how it engulfs her body and gives her an instant relief of warmth. It is almost a comfort for her.

“I don't know what to say, I am so sorry Alexis; would you like to talk about what happened between you and Ted? I thought you two were doing well?” Patrick asks, his voice soft, as he returns to the sofa a minute later, carrying two steaming cups and handing one over to Alexis who gladly accepts as she finally starts to register just how cold she is.

“He got a job, three more years working on that island. It is his dream job, getting to work with all those turtles and bugs; and I am so happy for him because I know this is exactly what he has always wanted. Sadly, I just don’t fit in with that dream.” Alexis tells him quietly; her eyes remaining trained on her cup of tea as she talks, worried that if she lifts her gaze to Patrick’s that she might start crying again.

“That sounds like shit Alexis, I’m so sorry. Was there nothing you two could do to try and work it out?” Patrick asks her, she figures he doesn't really know what to say, that he wants to encourage her to to continue but not feel pressured to talk about it if she doesn't want to.

“This is just something that is out of our control. I can’t be mad that he is following his dreams because that is exactly what I am doing. This is the first time in my life that I finally feel like I am onto something, like I have a future and direction, something I want to do with my life that doesn't involve parting around the globe, flashing my parents cash around. And sadly, that can’t be done from a hut in the middle of the Galapagos. And Ted has always wanted to work with the sea turtle thingys, this is a once in a life time opportunity for him so I could never ask for him to turn that down, just like he knows he can't ask me to step back from my dreams. It wouldn’t be right and I know we would just end up resenting one another and in the long run, that would be even worse than this feeling now.” Alexis tells him, letting it all seep out in a place she feels safe and secure.

“You didn’t want to try and keep the long distance going? You’ve been doing it for several months now and it hasn’t been so bad right?” Patrick asks, trying to find some semblance of a silver lining and it makes Alexis want to squeeze him tight.

“It wouldn’t really be fair on both of us, expecting each other to wait like that. Who knows where my job might take me, if Interflix are serious about working with me then I might not even get the chance to stay here, they might want me somewhere more central, closer to there offices. Plus, who knows what will happen with Ted, sure it is only three years at the moment but that could always be extended. When he left it was only going to be six months so anything can happen.” Alexis says, the emotion raw in her voice.

“I’m really sorry that there is nothing you can do; that it can’t be easier for the two of you to make it work.” Patrick replies after a beat and she knows he means it, she knows that he is been sincere in the fact that he wishes it could have been simple for the two of them. They lapse into silence for a moment, neither of them knowing what to say about the breakup. It's not like it ended on bad terms, nothing bad happened between them, it was just a timing thing and things were jus not able to line up for them.

“These things happen I suppose.” Alexis tells him at a loss of what else to do.

“Still sucks though.” Patrick adds , reaching out and taking her hand in his and she only then notices that it was shaking once more.

“Still sucks.” She replies, placing her mug down on the coffee table, taking grip of Patrick's hand and letting her head come back down to rest on Patrick’s shoulder once more. She immediately feels safe and comfort from it.

“Fuck it is freezing out there and I had to wait forever just for the pizza because the line was so bloody long.” David’s voice rings out, jarring both Alexis and Patrick out of the quiet ravine as the door bounces open.

“Alexis?” his tone is confused as he comes into the apartment and takes in his surroundings, closing the door behind him and discarding both the keys and the pizza on the table. Alexis sits up, swiping under her eyes at any rogue tears that have fallen in the last few moments, desperately trying to hide the evidence even though she knows that is impossible.

“I figured you and Ted would be taking advantage of the empty motel room. What the hell are you doing here?” He says, and Alexis can immediately pick up on his confusion regarding the current situation with a little concern added in.

“Ew David, why would you say something like that? I don't want to talk about my sex life with my brother.” Alexis says but it has no heat behind it. David walks round to their side of the sofa as she speaks. 

“What the fuck has happened here? You look worse than that time I had to rescue you from an underground bunker in Russia.” David says in his usually over exaggerated tone as he takes in her appearance and she can’t help it, the tears are back and before she knows it she is sobbing once again, her head coming down into her hands. Loud sobs that wrack her whole body and she doesn’t even understand how she has the energy anymore, how her body has not just given up from exhaustion. The sofa beside her feels lighter suddenly, she can hear some words muttered between her sobs and then the sofa is dipping again and she is suddenly engulfed by the scent of her older brother, pulling her tight to his chest. 

She’s not sure how long she stays there, nestled into her brother’s chest on the sofa, but she knows that it’s a long time. It is comforting in the same way she felt when Patrick held her close, but this time the sent that fills her senses is a familiar one, one that grounds her and makes her feel safe. It’s a feeling that is so familiar but also so foreign. She remembers when she was younger and how her brother was always the one she leaned on for comfort or support, when she was scared and lonely and their parents were off at some lavish party or event. He wouldn't even hesitate to pull her in for a hug or let her slip under the covers of his bed. But as they grew up, David’s aversion to human contact had grown, to the point where three years ago she had had to physically ask him several times for a hug when she felt weird over her breakup with Mutt. They’ve both come a long way since that moment but it some ways, in this moment, it feels so similar. 

Eventually her sobs finally come to an end and the utter exhaustion sets in; she has no idea just how long she has been crying but add it onto the long walk between the motel and the apartment, the downpour she had to endure and it feels like everything is finally catching up. David holds her until the very last tears falls, then he advices her to change out of the dress because she must be freezing since it hasn't yet fully dried out, and she graciously takes the sweatpants he offers her with a sad smile before making her way into Patrick’s small bathroom.

She pulls the sweater over her head so that she can access the zip at the back of her dress; letting it fall to the ground as she steps out of it and balls it up. Part of her wants to throw it away, worried about the memories that the dress will always be tainted with. But it wasn’t a cheap dress and really she doesn’t want to just throw away something so beautiful. Instead she leaves it in the corner, she can collect it before she leaves or David will bring it home for her. She pulls the sweater back on, followed by the sweatpants; they aren’t too long or baggy in the leg and she wonders if they were a pair of Patricks’ rather than David's since her brother does have a few inches on his fiancé and herself, so usually his clothes swim on her body.

Once she is dressed, she takes a deep breath and finally feels brave enough to take a look at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. She looks an absolute mess and she almost wants to feel mortified that she has let anyone see her like this. She has always prided herself on making herself look her absolute best no matter what, yet now her makeup is all over the place, mascara tracks down her cheeks, large blotches of her foundation missing and her eyeshadow was smudged everywhere. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy, and her hair was knotted and hung in rags over her shoulders, a far cry from the soft curls she had spent her time creating earlier today.

She pulls open the bathroom cabinet, hoping that Patrick has some wipes or makeup remover since he had worn makeup for the Cabaret production. She takes in the fact that the cupboard is littered with David’s products, how so many of his luxury skin products are lined up neatly alongside Patrick’s sparse number of products; the perfect example of how their lives are so entwined, how David is in the middle of his happily ever after and it makes her heart ache once more. Of course, she is so happy that her brother has found the love of her life, in this town of all places, but it’s just a stark reminder that she had also found hers yet she wasn’t lucky enough to find hers in a place where they could settle and continue their journey together, she was unlucky that her journey had to continue forward without her love by her side. For a moment she feels like she might start crying again, but nothing comes and now she really does think she might be completely dried up.

Instead she digs around, finds some cotton pads and makeup remover right at the back of the cupboard and spends a couple of minutes removing the makeup, not wanting it to dry up and become crusty across her face because that would be even worse than the state she is in right now. She also finds a comb, who’s of which she has no idea, and quickly tries to comb out as many of the knots as possible. She still feels like a mess, her hair desperately needs a wash and her face is still red and blotchy so she could use some of her own skin care products, but after the night she’s had and the fact she has literally just sobbed into the two men waiting for her outside the door, she can’t bring herself to care about her appearance.

They are both stood in the kitchen when she exits, turning round to offer her a very cautious smile. She notices that Patrick has changed his t-shirt since there is no longer a visible makeup stain on his left shoulder; she also notices that her brother is in his comfort clothes, and she figures they are both ready for the night now.

“Hey, we weren’t sure what you would want to do. We have some pizza if you are hungry, along with some comedy films queued up on Netflix if you want to watch them together. Or I can drive you home, get you back to the motel if that’s what you would prefer?” David tells her, his voice unusually soft as he addresses her.

Alexis isn’t really sure what she wants to do, she doesn’t really want to do anything, part of her wants to just curl up in a ball in a dark room and just be alone. But that isn’t really an option and she knows deep down that will just make everything worse. She doesn’t really fancy going back to the motel, the room is filled with memories, from today and many days before and she just can’t face it right now. So she picks the pizza and Netflix instead.

She takes a seat on the sofa again, noticing that Patrick’s laptop is now open on the coffee table, loaded with Netflix; a large glass of wine sat beside it and she reaches forward to take it before downing it in one, not caring if it was meant for her or not. David is there a moment later, bottle in hand and filling up her glass like it’s no big deal and honestly, she really does love her older brother. He passes her a plate with two large slices of pizza before taking a seat next to her, his own plate and glass of wine in hand as his body lines up along hers. Patrick comes round and takes a seat in one of the chairs, the sofa is small and would not be able to fit all three of them comfortably. 

Alexis tucks her feet up and under herself as David reaches forward to press play on whatever movie he has loaded up. Alexis isn’t really sure what is next, what will come of the days ahead but right now she knows that there is nothing else she can do, she can’t turn back time, she can’t change anything because it is what it is. She knows deep down that no matter how much it hurts, they both made the right decision. So now she has just got to focus on the food and the movie, she is all cried out for tonight and so she will just take each new day as it comes. She knows she has people around her that can help her get through this, she knows in her heart she is going to get through this, it will just be a hard road ahead.

**Author's Note:**

> Well here you go, my first ever Schitts Creek fic and it's not even a happy one. I've always enjoyed this show and recently during lockdown I did a full rewatch and this idea kind of just stuck so I finally got round to writing it down. Let me know what you think, I have some other Schitt's Creek ideas floating about so this might not be my last time writing for this fandom.
> 
> Sorry if theres any mistakes, I have proof read but it's getting late here and i'm tired. I will do an extra proof read in the morning but I wanted to get this out.


End file.
